Most of society has a naïve perspective when it comes to the extreme emotional stress that our service member’s families experience once left behind. When a soldier is deployed, everyone close to that soldier is affected. We must understand the impact this stress can have on a family and the warning signs for more serious reactions in children.

 

As the spouse left behind is suddenly solely responsible for the finances, the up-keep of the house and full responsibility for the children, the entire structure of the family dynamic is altered. They literally have to take on both roles as mother and father and all of the responsibilities that come with those roles. It is common for young families to move to the location where they first started their family in order to help reduce costs and add to the emotional support needed in order to keep a stable and healthy family environment.

 

Another important factor to consider is that 70 percent of the people in the United States come from dysfunctional families. Many dysfunctional families who have many pre-existing problems and/or troubled family members tend to be at higher risk for poor adjustments during deployments and separations.

 

Most school aged children will be able to adjust to their new lifestyle after the departure of a spouse or parent. However, students who have had previous social or emotional problems may develop even more severe symptoms of stress and an inability to function properly in school.

 

The difference between a normal and serious reaction to the separtion can be measured by how long and to what extent the child exhibits adjustment problems. For example, a child who is quiet, introverted, lacks social skills and goes unnoticed in a classroom may need more immediate intervention than a child who is restless and acting out. If their change in behavior lasts more than six weeks, then the parent or caregiver needs to be notified and a referral for school counseling and community or military services needs to be scheduled for the child. Please visit the links at the bottom of this article for further guidance.

 

How do you know if the family member is suffering from serious stress caused by the deployment?

 

If someone in your family is suffering from severe stress and needs help you will notice these signs and symptoms – the warning signs  

·      Unfocused

·      Anxiety

·      Constant worrying

·      Panics often

·      Looks and acts nervous all the time

·      Sudden change in behavior (anti-social)

·      Lack of communication with friends and adults

·      Serious depression

·      Extreme Withdrawal

·      Auditory or visual hallucinations

·      Behavioral changes last more than six weeks after deployment

Serious Stress Reactions:

·      Inability to resume normal responsibilities and activities

·      Children will have a hard time participating in class

·      Children will experience a lack of interest in after school activities

·      High levels of emotions

·      Constantly crying

·      Being sad all the time

·      Depressed

·      Withdrawn from society

·      Violent or depressed feelings expressed in “dark” drawings or writings

·      Causing intentional harm to themselves or others

·      A considerable amount of weight gain or weight loss in a short period of time

·      Loss of interest in your appearance

·      Drug or alcohol abuse

A serious reaction to separation usually begins within the first 24 to 48 hours. In the two weeks after the deployment, the reactions may change. Behaviors will differ depending upon the age and maturity of the child.

 

Some children may not show any signs of distress until a couple weeks or months after their family member deploys.

 

What are the warning signs that parents and teachers should look for in children when a parent is deployed?

 

 

In preschool or kindergarten:

·      Clinging to people

·      Clinging to a favorite toy, object or blanket

·      Unexplained crying or tearfulness

·      Change in friendships with other social peers

·      Choosing adults over kids the same age as them

·      Increase in aggression toward people or things

·      Withdrawing from people or things

·     Difficulty Sleeping – nightmares or frequent waking 

·      Regressing such as toileting accidents and thumb sucking

·      Eating difficulties

In school-age children, you may see any of the signs exhibited by younger children, ALONG WITH

·      A increase in complaints about stomach aches, headaches, or other illnesses when nothing seems to be wrong

·      increase in irritability or grumpiness

·      Increase in school problems – a drop in grades, not wanting to go to school, or odd complaints about school and/or teachers.

·      Negative behavior changes

Tips on how deployed families can get through these tough times

 

·     Parents should talk to their kids about their thoughts and feelings

·     Counseling

·     Talk to friends and family members

·     Keep a journal

·     Have your children express themselves creatively

·     School, counseling

·     Support groups

·     Daily discussions with your children

·     Let your children know you’re here to listen

·     Maintain stability through your daily routines by keeping a schedule

 

Organizations to help families during deployment

·           www.MilitaryChild.org

·           The American Red Cross www.redcross.org

·           The Boys and Girls Club of America  www.bgca.org

·           National 4-H Headquarters http://www.national4-hheadquarters.gov/