Written by Angela Caban,

When it comes to moving, the only part that is exciting is the feeling of starting fresh. I have always told my husband that I was made to live the military life because I don’t like to stay in one place longer than I have to. When my husband and I married, the possibility of a PCS was always far from our minds, being that we were a National Guard family. Married for 7 years this September and we have moved a total of 3 times, with this upcoming move being our 4^th. So what is the difference between this move and the others? Out of state.

Although I have moved out of state once before, at 16 I left all the worrying of the move to my parents. All I was in charge of was packing my own things. And now, this move will be the official “big move” for my family, and especially since this time around we have a child. So needless to say with all the crazy things running through my head, the biggest will be, how to help my child deal with this relocation. Different school, friends, away from family – and these are just some of my worries.

I believe that change is good for a family, but there is no doubt that it is extremely difficult. As an adult without children you have no one to think about other than yourself. With children, your whole like is turned upside-down now thinking what will be best for them. We know how to cope with change, but without our help – children do not.

Relocation will not only be stressful on the parents, but remember that whatever we feel our children pick up our emotions and in the long run will end up leaving us more drained. The last thing we want as parents is to worry or stress our children. IF we remain calm – so will the kids. I am in full throttle mode, and although our move is a bit far away, I am know starting to sit down and discuss with my son where we will be going and how this will change our lives for the better.

Ways to involve children in the relocation process…..

• - Explain why you are moving, and show them where on a map. 
• - Tell them all the great things about this new place you are moving to. 
• - Have your child pack their own things.   

Your child will experience loss, especially if this is all they have known, but helping them feel as if they have more control of the situation will empower them. And as parents, we will have the security that our children cope and feel better about this big change in our lives.

For more on Angela Caban, visit her website at www.angelacaban.com.

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