Chrisy Krueger is an Army wife, mother and a published author. She currently resides in Florida with her husband and two boys. Her book “Vino in Vo” is a beautiful story on the struggles of military life, and great friendships. I had the opportunity to chat with Chrisy about military life, writing and how she handles the pressures of being an Army wife.

As an Army Wife, what do you find was the biggest challenge for you and your family?

            For me, deployments are the biggest challenge because it is a multifaceted issue. An overseas tour includes single parenthood, separation from a loved one, fear over the future, constant worry, and reintegration, to name a few. And with all these hurdles, balance is another issue. How am I supposed to keep the children connected to their dad if getting dinner on the table is such an obstacle? How am I expected to stay connected to my husband while my one year old is climbing on the couch and my three year old is shoving a crayon in my hand?

            The bare truth is that the military lifestyle consists of unique challenges not seen in the civilian world. I’ve tried to maintain my patience and adopt the one-day-at-a-time approach.

What type of advice would you give other military wives, who are enduring their first deployment? 

Many spouses feel a heavy load of doom on their shoulders when they hear of a looming deployment, but even though it’s a complicated time, it can be a season of progression. Establish individual and family goals and work toward completing them while your spouse is overseas. These objectives can be long-term, such as finishing your degree, or short-term, like mastering the perfect recipe for lasagna. As long as you’re moving forward you will be able to look back on the deployment with a sense of positivity.

            Another vital aspect of surviving an overseas tour is your support system.  Attending Family Readiness Group meetings is the first step. From there, allow yourself to meet the other spouses enduring the same experience. When my husband first deployed in 2003, I kept my family and friends updated on how I was coping, but nothing helped me more than calling on my Army wife friends and hearing how they were handling the loneliness and the uncertainties. It was as if they could read my mind and nothing made me feel saner during the chaos of the deployment.

            Lastly, I would say to be patient: Be patient with your husband’s emotions; he’s living through things you cannot understand. Be patient with your children and other family members; they feel the weight, too. Be patient with yourself; you are not superwoman. And be patient with the deployment; it will pass.

How did you handle deployment with two young sons?

I maintained a busy but manageable schedule.  I carried my cell phone with me at all times, but I kept going, kept moving forward. Neither of my children were of school age, so I dedicated the day to them. We played at the park, walked around the neighborhood, swam in the pool or watched our favorite movie, which was Cars at that point. By the end of the year I was able to recite the whole movie, but we enjoyed ourselves. With children, routines are imperative, so I upheld them—baseball practice on Tuesdays, in bed by nine o’clock. I never turned a blind eye because their father was deployed.

            After they were in bed, I wrote in my journal, which was an outlet for me. All my thoughts and feelings went from my heart onto to the paper in front of me and that was very freeing. It provided an escape for my hopes and my fears so that didn’t have the power to make me miserable.

When did you start thinking about writing a book? Why?

            I wrote my first book in third grade. Its cover was made of pink construction paper and I received a five-star review from my mother. After that, I knew I was on to something. For me, writing is like breathing. I have to do it. Since I was young I kept a journal and wrote in it frequently. While I was in college, I began to write my first novel. Later that night, however, I decided to hold off until I experienced a little more life. It was tough writing about love without ever truly being in love and I could hardly detail motherhood without ever mothering a child. Years had passed until I had married a soldier, had a baby and survived my husband’s tour of Iraq. On the night that my husband had return from war, we sat in our apartment balcony in Vicenza, Italy and celebrated with a bottle of local wine. “To surviving Iraq,” my husband toasted. We clanked our glasses and I thought, yes, I survived Iraq, too. I never ran toward enemy bullets, but I fought loneliness. I never struggled through a sand storm but I battled child birth alone. So, the following day I began Vino in Vo because I had found the beautiful story I was meant to tell.

What inspired you to reach out to military spouses through your writing?

I have a firm belief that we are not supposed to keep our experiences inside like discarded feelings. We’re meant to learn from them and pass them on to the next person. With that principle in mind, it was natural for me to write about the military way of life and to reach out to other spouses. And, I really love the military. There’s a bond within the community that distinctive and amazing.

Were any of the qualities of the three characters adapted from you or your experiences?

            The three characters are symbolic to the types of days a military spouse can endure during a hardship tour. Perry’s the optimist and represents the good days—the times on cloud nine because he called or you received a letter from him. Jonah is the pessimist—the one who feels the heaviest weight of the deployment. Her character was inspired by the times that never feel good enough because it’s missing someone you love. And then you have the real days—that’s Kristen, caught between high and low. She knows her husband’s probably going to be okay, but she’s still worried. She knows the separation will end but she’s still sad about it.

            As far as experiences, Kristen most resembles mine. In 2003, I was in a state of shock when the war began because I was seven months pregnant with my first child, in a foreign country and CNN had just played footage of my husband’s unit jumping into a war zone. A very surreal moment for me as it wasn’t exactly how I had imagined the end of my pregnancy would be. And I am ashamed to admit the Kristen and I share an insatiable chocolate addiction and neither could have survived the deployment without baking and eating brownies.

What do you want military spouses to gain from your book, “Vino in Vo”?

            It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that someone else understands you and what you are going through, so I want military spouses to finish Vino in Vo with a sense that they are not alone.  I’ve been depressed over a missed phone call too. I’ve cried sometimes because it was all I could do too. And yes, I’ve also looked into the closet and smelled his clothes. These are all normal things.

Also, my greatest aspiration for any reader is to realize that we can all learn something from each other, no matter how different we are from them.

Tell us a little bit about your work life; is there a new book in the future?

            I have many stories in me to tell, but the book closes to publication has a tentative release date for late next year. Until then, I have two short stories, “Heart of a Soldier” and “The Goalkeeper’s List” to be published later this year.