By Roy Smith

Ah, Memorial Day!  For most, it is a day off work or, if you are a child, it means no school.  Even better, Memorial Day always falls on a Monday.  Any work week which starts on a Tuesday is usually the start of a good work week.  However, for some, it is more than just BBQs and no work but instead our perspectives have changed where our feelings on Memorial Day has come to mean so much more.

Much like everything else in life, how you look on Memorial Day is all about perspective.  Civilians look on the holiday as a day off work and having BBQs.  Military personnel look on it as our holiday but sometimes have to work on that day, usually marching in a parade or some community activity.  This article is designed to provide one retired soldier’s perspective on a holiday which means different things to different people depending on their perspective.  It is a written perspective of how the meaning of Memorial Day has changed for me as I progressed through life from childhood to a retired soldier of 21 years.

Memorial Day as a Child

I have experienced Memorial Day from three different perspectives.  First, I was the child standing at the side of the road watching a Memorial Day parade.  The holiday really meant nothing more to me than a day I didn’t have to go to school.  I knew there was a BBQ going to happen with a lot of friends coming over.  Memorial Day always started the same way with my dad walking me from our home to the main street of our little town of approximately ten thousand people so I could watch the parade.  I distinctly remember thinking that the parades on Memorial Day were more boring than those for Thanksgiving and especially Christmas but I enjoyed them anyways.  Not enough floats and not nearly enough candy being thrown. 

Of course, that is the perspective of a child.  Candy and floats are what parades are all about.  However, as I grow older my dad explained and I would understand a little more each year what Memorial Day was really about.  I distinctly remember at around age nine or ten at the parade that year asking my dad why there were fewer people walking in the parade then last year.  I was of course asking why not as many old people were marching in the parade.  My dad then explained to me that the old veterans were getting too old to march in the parade and that as I got older, fewer people would be marching.  This scared me for a few minutes cause I was afraid they would stop holding the parade if all the old veterans could walk anymore.  When I asked my dad the question, he simply looked at me somewhat sadly and said that more veterans would be made cause there are always wars to make new ones.  I didn’t understand the true means of his words until I was a soldier myself but they were some of the most real words my father ever said to me.

Memorial Day as Active Duty Soldier

Second, I was the active duty military guy walking in the parade.  That was something I distinctly remember the first time I was part of Memorial Day celebration.  I was marching in a formation down the main street of a little town in Washington State just outside of Tacoma.  It turned out it was the first of many as over the years I took part in many Memorial Day activities.  Everything, from marching in parades to visiting very old and retired military personnel in nursing homes. 

I learned that a lot of towns across America hold Memorial Day parades or other activities.  It wasn’t just my small town where I grow up but everywhere I was stationed, even overseas in other countries.  If we have a base there, some form of Memorial Day celebration is being conducted, even if it is very small such as a special meal being served in the chow hall.

Later on in my career, the meaning of Memorial Day to me again changed.  For those of us in the military, either active or retired, Memorial Day eventually comes to mean much more then BBQs and walking in parades.  I have been asked by people about how it feels to have a holiday to honor military personnel and their sacrifices.  They ask the question from the standpoint that the holiday actually belonged to those who currently serviced in the military.  I guess in a way they are right but the holiday is meant to mean much more.  I might of thought along those lines during the first part of my career but that naïve perspective changed after my friends starting dying during the past ten years.  I certainly have never viewed Memorial Day as my holiday since September 2001.  For me and most of the other military people I have met over the past ten years, Memorial Day is the day to remember those who gave their lives during war, not to honor the living.

Memorial Day is a solemn day for those of us who have served during the past ten years.  I guess all old soldiers come to view Memorial Day in a similar way after they have witness military friends die in war.  Therefore, the holiday becomes a day to remember friends and family we have lost over the years due to the wars we have been involved in.  The same holds true for those who did not directly serve in the military but have lost sons or daughters or a husband or wife.  For many of them, it is a day of mourning and remembering of the one they lost.

Memorial Day as the Retired Veteran

Now, as a retired military man, I find my perspective on Memorial Day has changed once again.  I guess you could say it has come full circle.  Now, I am the old retired soldier walking in the parade wearing my former uniform or giving speeches at my daughters’ schools.  I have spoken at many schools over the years while I was active duty but I realize my thoughts surrounding Memorial Day focus more on those friends I have lost.  Especially those I lost under my command during operations. 

I also find myself having similar thoughts that my dad voiced to me those many years ago as we watched the parade.  The wars we currently find ourselves in have provided many former and current soldiers for the parades across America.  There are plenty of veterans to unfurl enormous American flags at baseball games for stadium and TV audiences to witness.  The supply is endless even when you are talking about spanning generations.

Live Comes Full Circle

I guess my dad was right.  Another war came along to replace the aging parade walkers of my youth and I now find myself with my children along the side of the road answering the same questions I had asked.  Again, how someone views Memorial Day is all a matter of perspective and that perspective changes over the years as it did for me.  I went from the child on the street asking my father questions about the old people walking in the parade to being the parent answering the questions with a whole new generation of veterans serving as parade walkers.  Life really does come full circle.  That was something else my father said to me.  His generation has faded as the parade walkers and a new generation has stepped up to take their place.  The circle is endless.