Written by Angela Caban,

Maralis Guzman has been married for 14 years in which 12 of those years have been spent as an Army wife. Transitioning from civilian to military life was a struggle for both Maralis and her husband, but they have learned to embrace it throughout their many moves and experiences. In this issue of Life of a Military Wife, Army wife Maralis Guzman shares with us about her military life, writing and her husband’s upcoming deployment.

 

You have been married for 14 years and a military wife for 12 how was the transition from civilian to military life at first?

The transition was difficult at first, I must admit.  I was a city girl one minute, and the next I was surrounded by Cacti, just a few miles from the Juarez, Mexico border and witnessing firsts like tumbleweed, tornadoes and sand storms.  Moving from New York City to Texas was a big transition.  It was hard to leave family and friends.  But I quickly embraced it and decided to accept it as an adventure and a blessing to be able to visit different parts of the country, and world.

What would you say are some of the recurring challenges you face as an Army wife?

We do indeed face many recurring challenges.  The hardest is, undoubtedly, uprooting my children every time we move.  Children have a much harder time with leaving, but adjust more quickly.  For me, it is really hard moving to a new place and having to meet new people and get to know a new place.  But again, this is where I choose to adopt positive thinking and that usually works for me.  Another challenge is reminding myself that my husband is a soldier 24/7.  He does not punch in and punch out at regular times.  Often he is gone before dawn and home after dusk.  The challenge is in making the time you do get together, quality time.

What advice would you give a newly married couple entering the military life?

I would tell a newly married couple to get to know the military and the resources they offer.  Speaking as an Army wife, we have an abundance of programs designed to educate and assist soldiers as well as spouses.  The first thing I would suggest is to take the free course that is offered (for us it is in our Army Community Service office) that teaches military customs and things like military lingo.  It is very helpful. 

You have been writing since you were a teen, what is your favorite topic to write about?

I have always been provoked by emotion and inspired by all things around me that stir feelings.  This ranges from the traditional feelings to things in nature like the whistle in the wind.  My favorite topics to write about though, are the strength and power of being a woman and the wonders of motherhood.

Has the military life inspired your writing?

Yes, it has.  I didn’t expect it to, though.  The last thing I imagined was writing anything labeled in the military genre.  But I realized that as a military spouse, I have a perspective that is exclusive to those who walk or have walked in my shoes.  I have something to say, and more than likely it echoes the sentiments of other military spouses.  I enjoy being a voice among us.

Could you discuss a bit about your current article you are working on in regards to soldier suicides?

I was watching several broadcasts on television about the suicide rates of soldiers.  Not only am I on the largest military installation in the U.S., I am also on the installation with the most soldier suicides.  I listened, saddened and concerned.  One thing I wasn’t hearing though was the thoughts of the spouses and families.  The article that I am working on delves into the first hand opinions of military spouses about how they feel about the increase in soldier suicides, as well as how we feel the military is caring for the mental health state of our soldiers.  It is an issue that impacts the family members greatly as well.

You and your family are preparing for an upcoming deployment, how will this deployment differ from the others?  How will you prepare yourself?

The primary difference with this upcoming deployment is that my children are much older this time.  I have elementary and middle school children who are well aware of the possibility of danger when their father deploys.  They will also have to cope with him his absence from many events.  It’s not only the big things like birthdays; the missed soccer games and school performances count just as much.   We prepare with a lot of discussion and open communication.  We also have plans to stay in touch, not just in contact, with things like care packages, videos and emails.  We always make plans that include the entire family and make the most of everything we do together.

What advice would you give a military spouse who is going through a deployment?

I would tell a fellow military spouse who is going through a deployment to expect and accept that it is going to be a difficult time of adjustment.  I would also say that there is a lot that you can learn about yourself and the strength that you have within.  Also, be sure to be among others, especially if you can reach out to others who are going through a deployment as well.  Isolation is never a good idea and there are many programs and events out there that are especially for spouses and family members of deployed soldiers.  I would also encourage spouses to be in contact with the Family Support Group within the unit.  They are a vital link and means of communication.  Learn about your community resources and utilize them.   There is an excellent resource that I would recommend that is for all branches of services and that is Military One Source. 

TOMORROW (a military spouses’ poem)

By: Maralis Guzman

Tomorrow, we’ll be up before dawn

Tomorrow will be the morning that haunts me

Tomorrow I’ll go numb

Tomorrow, the color of my world will be grey

Tomorrow, I’ll wish you could stay

Tomorrow, I’ll lose my crutches

And it will take me a while to learn to walk correctly

Tomorrow, I’ll walk on stilts while holding a weight in each hand

Tomorrow, my toes will be pricked with pins

And my finger tips will become needles

Tomorrow, my wingspan will grow

To cover and protect our nest

Tomorrow, I’ll try my best

Tomorrow is the opening day

Of The Year of Loneliness

Tomorrow, I must put on a grand show

For the miniature spectators need to believe

It will all be okay, because every play

Should have a happy ending

Tomorrow, I will be impermeable

Tomorrow, I will shun the voices

Of soothers, and the well meaning kind

This pain is mine

One I refuse to share

And have a right to bear

Tomorrow, I’ll start drawing X’s in squares

And filling boxes with care

And I will wash my pillowcase every day

To wash the tearful mascara marks away

And I’ll pray

And pray

And pray

Until tomorrow becomes the day

When I can

Stop counting

Stop crossing out squares

Stop carrying weights

Stop buying Kleenex in bulk sizes

Stop trying to stuff my love in a box

And have my toes and fingers back

And exhale

And you

Come back

To Us

To me.

Visit Maralis via her blog at http://lapoeticseamstress.blogspot.com.

For more on Angela Caban, visit her website at www.angelacaban.com.

Join me and other military spouses on my Facebook, Twitter or MySpace fan page.