Sakennah Kilogi is a mother of two, Navy wife and a full time student. During her husband’s recent deployment, she dealt with many obstacles and the hardest one being a single mom. Her husband has just returned from a 9 month deployment and they are trying to slowly get back into the groove of things. After being alone and handling herself alone for so long, Sakennah discusses the challenges of deployment as well as being family of an Individual Augmentee. 

 

With the return of your husband, after being deployed for 9 months, how is family life?

My husband Matthew was gone for 9 months and has been home now about a week. Things are slowly getting back to normal.

 

Is the adjustment hard for you and the children, having your husband home after a long deployment?

The children are adjusting seamlessly, but I am having a more difficult time. Having to handle everything on my own for so long that I am having a hard time getting him to understand that I need space.

 

What do you find is the biggest challenges you have faced while your husband is gone?

There were many challenges facing me. I don’t cook so that was the biggest, having him help me with the chores, kids homework, lawn, banking, car maintenance. I could go on and on. 

 

How do your two children deal with the stresses of their father being deployed?

My daughter who was 16 when he left had a birthday and didn’t want to celebrate it while her dad was gone.  She cried a lot in the beginning and around holidays it was really hard because many of our traditions can’t be done without dad.

 

How are you managing life as a mom, military wife and student?

I cried a lot during the deployment mostly at night before going to sleep. My role as a military wife is a trying on the spirit. Sometimes I am so grateful he joined the military and at other times I hate the Navy for being so cruel and heartless to families.  My plans for school are always changing because his career must come first. His advancement makes our life easier someways, but in other ways it hinders my advancement in life.

 

You are actively participating in the Soldier’s Angels program; do your children get involved as well?

My children have written and sent boxes to soldiers, and most of them will be returning home soon thankfully.

 

How do you feel about the IA (Individual Augmentee) situation you experienced while your husband was gone?

 IA is the worst thing ever invented by the military.  It made our family feel left out in the cold, isolated, neglected, unappreciated and very alone.

 

What do you wish the military could do, to change the IA situation?

They need to stop this practice or come up with a program just for IA families. A special office to get them involved and keep them informed of what is going on in the unit they are with. They also need to take the financial burden away from IA families to give their loved one a proper home coming.

 

What do you wish that people knew about your life as a military wife?

 I would hope they would truly understand that we give up much more than the average wife to be spouse of a military member. We don’t receive ribbons, medals, conmendations or party in our honor. We are just as dedicated as our spouse or even more.

 

What is something that people can do for military wives?

If I could do anything for a military wife I would give her a day alone at something she would enjoy, followed by a party in her honor for all the work she does for this country.