Written by Angela Caban

Joan Garcia has been an Army wife for 8 years. She has dealt with 2 deployments to Iraq 15 months each and 3 TDY’s in which has kept her husband away for a total of 18 months. During her husband’s deployment last year she gave birth to twins, in which she describes as the hardest part during deployment. Joan keeps busy with the twins and as the FRG leader on post. Joan is a wonderful example at how much courage and strength it takes to be a military spouse. It is with great honor to have Joan represent Army Spouses in her “Life of a Military Wife”.

What do you find is the biggest challenge you have faced while your husband is gone?

Being a single parent has to be the biggest challenge I have faced. It is difficult to juggle around household duties of both. I think it would have been easier for me if the twins were older, or perhaps not. It’s one of those things that eventually we will find out.

What do you wish that civilians knew about your life as a military wife?

I would like to scream it out loud that military spouses are the strongest people I have ever known! I am not just saying that because I am one, but because of seeing my friends in action. They have an inner strength that surfaces when their spouses are gone. They wear so many hats; plumbers, gardeners, mechanics, technicians, locksmiths, electricians, carpenters, pretty much anything! And I seriously hate how the media portrays us as helpless victims, it simply is not true!

What is something that people can do for military wives?

HELP OUT! If you know a military spouse, offer them help. You would be surprised what a big difference you will make in their day if you simply ask them if they need anything. And as we all know, something always happens once the spouse leaves, so it will definitely make their day.

What type of advice would you give other military wives?

Don’t stay in the house and wallow. Get out and meet other military spouses. They are going to be your support systems while your spouse is gone, so take comfort in them and knowing they are there. Also join as many groups online and with your base family office, attending meetings and listening to the support and advice of other spouses.

What was is like giving birth to twins, while your husband was deployed?

During the delivery it was sad not having my husband there, but it was also nice to have my friends and family’s support. I was extremely overwhelmed bringing the twins home. The first three weeks were the toughest, but after we had a set routine things started to go right into place. And once my husband came back home, it was another three or four weeks of adjustment. We have just gotten used to the fact that the military life is all adjustment.

What inspired you to take such an active role in supporting other spouses?

When my husband first deployed, before we had children I was extremely lonely. I was in shock and wanted to get out of the rut I was slowly falling into. A friend of mine had mentioned they needed an FRG leader and I was immediately interested in helping out any way I could. So once I got the hang of the role and meeting a ton of military spouse’s ion base, the rest kind of just feel right into place. It’s amazing the amount of support and respect you gain from spouses you have never met.

How does it make you feel knowing you are helping other military spouses with your work as an FRG Leader?

I have always enjoyed helping other spouses, as an FRG member now it is just done in an official capacity. Even though spouses do not need to be FRG members to help each other, I’m glad the Army has established this program because just knowing that the spouses have someone to call if needed, gives everyone “peace of mind”. In the past, my husband went on numerous deployments and TDYs, no one from the base ever officially checked in on me. I remember feeling so segregated and alone. I enjoy doing my part on the home front to make a simple phone call to let a fellow spouse know that someone out there cares about them and is looking out for them. If we can take care of the spouses and families it helps out with the morale both at home and down range.

For more on Angela Caban, visit her website at www.angelacaban.com.

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