My husband and I dated for 4 years before saying I do. At first, I didn’t think much about him being in the military because he was a Reservist only drilling once a month and going away for annual training two weeks a year. Almost ten years later and I look back today in such amazement, because I truly was so inexperienced and had no idea what this life would bring me. Little did I know that things would change so quickly just a few years after getting married. I was quickly sucked into this crazy military life and had no idea that things would get even crazier. And as crazy as this life may be at times, I would not change one thing about it. I do however wish I’d had someone at the time who could have guided me and prepared me for what I was about to experience.

If you are currently dating a military man/woman, I am sure you are curious about many things in this lifestyle. The best thing to do is to talk to someone who has married into the military; this will be the best move before picking up any book. Then you can feel free to read up on the military life, some great books to pick up are on this site.

Communication – Always remember the importance of communication. In any relationship this is important to ensure you and your partner understand each other, and where the relationship is going. Being in the military, the best forms of communication may be chatting online, talking on the phone, emails, writing letters, sending packages. This will show your partner that you are making an effort to keep the relationship going. I cannot tell you how many people I have seen dump their soldier while they are overseas, and forget about them completely. Take whatever little chance you have of communication and use it wisely.

Value – Soldiers will occasionally receive some down time or leave. Make sure that you take advantage of this time you have together. Valuing your soldier will show the commitment you have to him and your relationship.

Support – While dating a soldier, your partner may be called away at any time. You need to be supportive and understand that the military comes first no matter what. Regardless of your marital status to your soldier support him and stay connected with other spouses of the military.

Trust – I find this to be the hardest of them all. Many men and women spouses and partners I have spoken to do have issues in the trust category. You have to be able to trust your partner while they are away. This is also key to any relationship, but extremely key in a military relationship.

Dating in the military takes strength, courage, passion and dedication. Not everyone can do it, and it takes an extraordinary person to go through what is the military lifestyle. And always remember that the effort it takes to keep a military relationship going must come from both partners.