Children of Military Families and Relocation

August 25th, 2010  |  Published in Military Life  |  1 Comment

Written by, Roy Smith

I envy how easily children can learn almost anything.  This was demonstrated on repeated occasions by my children every time we moved when I would be stationed at a new Army base.  It didn’t matter where we would move to.  Their desire to stay at our old location was high but then we would get to wherever it was we were going and I would soon see them wide-eyed looking at their new home and neighborhood with wonder.  After years of moving, my children now look upon those moves as adventures and chances to learn about a new place in the world.  Though difficult at times, I now look back on those moves and how they affected my children not as a hindrance to their development but as a significant advantage.  As a result, my children now know more of the world them most adults in this country and in a lot of ways are more prepared for the world then non-military children.

Life as a military child is hard in a lot of ways and it was hard on me as well.  Each time I found out we were moving to a new base I would sit the family down for a meeting.  I would explain where the Army was sending us and why.  I would  tell them about my new job as they sat quietly waiting for their turn to ask questions.

Often I had to explain to them why their favorite friend couldn’t move with us. That was always the hardest part for them, leaving their friends behind. 

Getting to know a new place was difficult but exciting at the same time.  New schools were hard too as each state’s education system is different but that too seemed to interest the children cause they liked to learn new things.  This was never more evident than when we moved to England.  We lived in a town called Ely in the middle of Cambridgeshire.  My children learned more about how to live and work with peoples from another countries then they ever could have leaned in America.  That knowledge will be with them for the rest of their lives and it makes them feel special when they can tell their current friends that they used to live in the country of Shakespeare as they are learning about it in class.

The important thing to remember about your children when you are a military parent is that they are smart and quite capable of adapting to new places and things. Anyways, we all know moving is hard and your children are going to be sad during moves because they are losing their friends.  Just remind them that there are more friends at the new place and an entire city, country, state, ect. to explore.  My children love to experience new things and I have always encouraged that feeling. 

Now that I am retired and my children no longer have to experience moving to new states and countries, they have actually voiced to me the desire to travel when they are grown.  They miss the travel and new experiences they would have every two to three years when it was time for us to rotate.

There was a song that my children’s mother taught them when they were young called “I am a military brat”.  It was also taught in a couple of schools they attended.  The children actually took that song as a motto during the years and I would hear it each move.  There were several versus’ in the song in which I believe my children would latch onto to make them feel better.  It made them feel special instead of disappointed about the move and the friends they had just lost.  I encourage you to look up this song and teach it to them and hopefully if your children are having trouble with a move it will help them feel better the way it did for my own.

Children are capable of incredible adaptability.  It says something that my own children do not look back on those moves with distaste but with some level of fondness.  I hope these words give you hope and enthusiasm during your next move.

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  1. JoshuaMPatton says:

    August 27th, 2010 at 6:00 pm (#)

    Interesting. Especially since the edgy, smoking, troubled kid in all those coming-of-age movies and stories is typically dubbed a “military brat,” thus justifying their outlaw, devil-may-care attitude chalking it up to the constant moving and implied strict parenting-style.

    Conversely, I grew up in my mother’s childhood home, and having never moved, I am always looking for an excuse to travel.

    JMP

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