Unless you have experienced it first hand, there is no way to describe the way the family members of soldiers feel once their loved one has been deployed. There is an intense mixture of pride and sorrow that few people can relate to. Children in particular can experience immense amounts of stress during deployment.  They may even go into denial or express feelings of abandonment.

Children begin to become stressed knowing that their mommy or daddy will be leaving for active duty. Children especially are not sure how to deal with their tempers. You may notice that your child has begun to act differently. Be aware of changing behavioral patterns as signs of emotional stress.

Keep in mind that even infants experience the stress of deployment. You are the center of their life and they can be affected by how you are feeling. You need to make sure your emotional distress and behavior does not affect them. Infants who see you depressed or sad can act out by refusing to eat and in result, experience weight loss or becoming lethargic. Early intervention becomes vital in order to prevent unnecessary harm or neglect.

Tips and Sources for Help:

-      Military Community Services and Social Work can assist with parenting skills to help you and your child deal with deployment

-      Join community support organizations or groups

-      If coping with deployment is an ongoing struggle for you, you may want to consider individual counseling

   Toddlers (1-3 years) If the “non-deploying” parent is coping well, then usually the child will do well too. If the non-deploying parent is not coping well, then toddlers may become angry, tearful, throw tantrums, or develop sleeping problems.

• Attention – Giving Increased attention to your child usually approves the situation
• Affection – Hugs Help
• Cuddle Time – Holding hands and cuddling help
• Communication – sharing your day with your non-deployed parent, sharing your emotions, and fears with each other
• Me Time – Research has shown that parents do well when they give themselves some quiet time to focus on themselves and to work on strengthening their inner selves.

Preschoolers (3 to 6 years old) may regress in their skills

Examples:

* Difficulty with potty training

* Reverting back to baby talk

* Thumb sucking

* Refusal to sleep alone

* Clingy to you

* Becoming irritable

* Depressed behavior

* Aggressive

* Fears that you are going to leave them

• School age children (6 to 12 years old)

* Whining

* Complaining

* Aggressive behaviors

* Focusing on the Soldier-parent missing a key event

* Depression – sleep disturbance, loss of interest in school, eating or even playing with their friends

-      Have them express and talk about their feelings

-      Increase physical attention

-      Keeping routines the same

• Teenagers (13 to 18 years old)

* Irritable

* Rebellious

* Fight

* Participate in other attention-getting behavior (ex. bullying).

* Lack of interest in school

* Lack of interest in spending time with friends

* Lack of interest in school activities

Always know that there is nothing weak about asking for help. There are counseling services available in almost every community. Sometimes just having someone to talk to can help ease the transition of deployment for all of the members you’re the family.