I look back at that moment of despair; the adjustment of single parenting was not as tough as the adjustment of post deployment parenting. What is post deployment parenting? Post deployment parenting is the adjustment of learning to let go of the control in parenting once your servicemember has returned. I found it rather difficult to do this, mainly for the sake of my son. When my husband left he was two and when my husband returned my son was three going on four. What kind of adjustment would this mean for my son who was so used of me calling all the shots? I was worried that he would take one look at his father and totally disregard any authority he had. But with open communication with my husband, we both knew that we were in this together, and we had to both work extremely hard.

The roles change when your servicemember deploys, but don’t forget that your child also changes with time. The younger the child the harder it is to explain why their parent was away and it also takes them some time to adjust to having that parent back in the picture. By the time my husband left for a 6 month training mission a year later – my son was 5 and we both knew how to handle the role of post deployment parenting on his arrival.

-Good Cop, Bad Cop: I could sense the guilt my husband had when he returned from deployment and didn’t want to play the “Bad Cop”. But this was something that he had to jump back into; don’t let your child make you feel bad because you now have to discipline them. It isn’t easy – but we both stood tough in our decisions, if I punished my son, my husband backed me up and vice versa.

-Quality Time: Make sure that once your servicemember is back home that they spend some alone time with the child. Use that time to bond and communicate any feelings that either the child or parent may have. Of course be sure to share those thoughts with your spouse as well.

-Expectations: Don’t expect things to run smooth, and wait for that moment where your child may show some type of anger toward you. Don’t worry about this emotion, it will pass and it is just an expression of how they feel at the moment. Children are resilient, but take time to adapt to new surroundings and situations.

For more on Angela Caban, visit her website at www.angelacaban.com.

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What is Military Sexual Trauma (MST)?

In simplest terms MST could be defined as any unwanted sexual advances towards a male or female serving in the military that causes duress or distress. Does MST really exist? The answer is a resounding yes. According to the US Department of Veterans Affairs roughly 1 in 5 woman and 1 in 100 men identified with having some form of MST during routine screening when seeking services through the Veterans Administration. However, not everyone who identifies with having MST in some form requires or seeks those services. In 2005 the US Department of Defense Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office (SAPRO) indicated that there were 2374 reports of claimed sexual assault of service personnel, of which 2047 were unrestricted and 327 were restricted. In 2010 SAPRO indicated there were 3158 reports of claimed sexual assault of service personnel, of which 2410 were unrestricted and 748 were restricted.

Although these reports may be statistically significant, they also could be misleading. The reports appear on the outset to indicate an overall increase in MST, but this is not necessarily the case. The report indicates an increase of “reporting” of claimed sexual assaults which could be due to a number of factors such as an increase in people joining the military or a decrease in those who were hesitant to report MST. Because many times MST goes unreported due to a lot of different factors, any increase in reporting should be welcomed to help get rid of the problems associated with reporting MST. Within the military, people often rely on each other in various ways and often have to work together for long periods of time. Any type of breakage of military unwritten codes or culture is met with scrupulous resistance due to the high demand for solidarity among and within groups of solders. This is problematic for the victim of MST for it could create anxiety, tension, stress and possibly poor psychological well being which ultimately could result in a trauma related lasting disorder such as chronic Post Traumatic Stress. Regardless, MST is a recognizable and continued problem in the armed forces.

What can those who suffer from MST do about it?

There are treatments and resources available for MST victims. There are some therapeutic treatment options that have been shown to be affective for those who suffer from MST such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), Exposure Therapy (EP), and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

There are also resources available for services for MST:

Make the Connection

After Deployment

Department of Veterans Affairs

VA Medical Facility Finder

My Duty (for active military)

DOD Helpline

Women Veterans Health

Military Sexual Trauma Podcasts

My Military Education

VET WOW

Gift From Within

The Invisible War

Recently a documentary entitled The Invisible War debuted at the 2012 Sundance Film Festival, which is about MST. As indicated on The Invisible War website the documentary focuses “on the powerfully emotional stories of several young women, the film reveals the systemic cover up of the crimes against them and follows their struggles to rebuild their lives and fight for justice. THE INVISIBLE WAR features hard-hitting interviews with high-ranking military officials and members of Congress that reveal the perfect storm conditions that exist for rape in the military, its history of cover-up, and what can be done to bring about much needed change.”

Although I have not seen this movie, it is an indicator that this tragic problem is surfacing and getting more recognition, which hopefully will assist with decreasing the incidents of MST within our military ranks. Our nations finest deserve to be treated with respect inside and outside of uniform and any effort to thwart the internal assault of our armed forces should be put at the top of nations priorities.

Military Sexual Trauma

http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/pages/military-sexual-trauma.asp

US Department of Veterans Affairs

http://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/msthome.asp

US Department of Defense Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office (SAPRO)

http://www.sapr.mil/index.php/annual-reports

Therapeutic Treatment

http://uwf.edu/cap/HCW/materials/GarrisonMay08.pdf

Make the Connection

http://maketheconnection.net/

After Deployment

http://afterdeployment.org/topics-military-sexual-trauma

VA Medical Facility Finder

http://www2.va.gov/directory/guide/home.asp?isflash=1

My Duty (for active military)

http://myduty.mil/

DOD Helpline

https://www.safehelpline.org/

Woman’s Veteran Health

http://www.womenshealth.va.gov/

Military Sexual Trauma Podcasts

http://www.healingcombattrauma.com/2010/08/resources-on-military-sexual-trauma-vetwows-short-podcasts-for-survivors-friends-and-family.html

My Military Education

https://mymilitaryeducation.org/app/answers/detail/a_id/1130/~/military-sexual-trauma

VET WOW

http://vetwow.com/

Gift From Within

http://www.giftfromwithin.org/html/Military-Sexual-Trauma.html

The Invisible War

http://invisiblewarmovie.com/

Sundance Film Festival

http://www.sundance.org/festival/

“Honor to the soldier and sailor everywhere, who bravely bears his country’s cause. Honor, also, to the citizen who cares for his brother in the field and serves, as he best can, the same cause.”
- Abraham Lincoln

Part of war is dealing with its aftermath. From destruction of environment to lifelong devastating personnel’s effects such as physical or psychological scarring, war is something that can only be experienced to understand. Many of our nation’s finest come back from war time scenarios with lifelong trauma experiences that plague them indubitably and literally affect every part of their existence for life. This is evident in the vast numbers of veterans who access the Veterans Administration and the many more who do not. Yet despite many stories of lack of services for our veterans, there are services out there to assist our veterans with dealing with the aftereffects of combat. One such entity known as the Wounded Warriors Project (WWP) helps veterans through transitional issues to civilian life. Recently, the WWP was involved with a sponsored bicycle trip for wounded warriors who ride modified bicycles in marathons to promote the WWP and assist with community awareness about wounded warriors. The most recent trip was in the Florida Keys and included a 3 day ride with a stop at the Dolphin Research Center. At the research center many Wounded Warriors were allowed to swim with dolphins for therapeutic reasons.

There is much research that supports the idea of animal-assisted therapy (AAT) for a variety of causes and reasons. Also, a recent true-to-life movie about a mammal named “Winter” was made regarding a rescued disabled dolphin based at the Clearwater Marine Aquarium in another part of Florida. Winter is part of the interactions of an AAT environment that is gaining popularity.

From my own experience with AAT, I at one time worked as a mental health clinician for children and adolescents who were severely emotionally disturbed. Part of my job was to engage in therapy out in the field where clients were located including residential treatment centers, one of which had an AAT program. Specifically, equine therapy and wondering therapeutic dogs/cats were present at many times throughout the day and were effective in a milieu setting for the treatment of children with emotional disturbance.

At another work venture I was task with therapeutic treatment of older adults including veterans who were also in residential facilities. Often times I would go work therapeutically with my clients at their Skilled Nursing or residential facilities and would find that at times there was AAT involved mostly a small animal such as cat would be available to many of the residents for therapeutic reasons.

Although the WWP clients who swam with the dolphins are a far cry from interacting with a cat or a dog for therapeutic reasons, it is still part of the healing process that many of our nations veterans need. This new type of unorthodox therapy for our veterans could prove to be a positive step towards giving our wounded warriors the services and treatment that they require and deserve for their valiant efforts at serving their country.

Mentors can identify with not only the war experience, but with the difficulty in making their way back to civilian society.  Across the country, veterans helping veterans works.  When a veteran in the court system is approached by another veteran, there is often instant camaraderie. Veterans in trouble appreciate seeing a veteran who has made it through to the other side.

The mentor program is critical to the success of keeping veterans out of jail and helping them reintegrate as productive members of society.  In many places there is a surplus of veterans offering to become mentors, often overwhelming the courts.  But matching an ex-soldier in trouble with an appropriate mentor isn’t seamless.  The Buffalo court system, the first in the nation to offer Veterans Treatment Courts, has a waiting list of veterans offering to become mentors.

The National Association of Drug Court Professionals, which supports the Veterans Treatment Courts, has developed resources to help match mentors with veterans in the system.  In conjunction with the Buffalo Veterans Treatment Court, NADCP offers a webinar on how to incorporate mentors into VTCs, including how to set up a program if your state doesn’t already have one in place.  A handbook, developed by the Buffalo Veterans Treatment Court, explains the ins and outs of becoming a volunteer mentor.

War and separation causes many different types of psychological stresses and it is important for family members to be prepared to deal with these issues before they even begin. With this Red Cross program, families will be able to deal with the many challenges while home and once their loved one has returned from deployment.

“Coping with Deployments: Psychological First Aid for Military Families“ is a program that was created by the Red Cross to continue their commitment to serve military families. The program has been designed and available for use to military spouses, parents, children, and significant others. Useful information that is provided;

• How to strengthen your ability to respond to the challenges you may encounter throughout a deployment.
• Help in providing psychological first aid to those experiencing stress.

To learn more about the Red Cross and the Coping with Deployments: Psychological First Aid for Military Families program, please visit www.redcross.org.

Source and Reference: http://www.redcross.org/portal/site/en/menuitem.d8aaecf214c576bf971e4cfe43181aa0/?vgnextoid=0742cd7a973e3210VgnVCM10000089f0870aRCRD&vgnextfmt=default

For more on Angela Caban, visit her website at www.angelacaban.com.

Join me and other military spouses on Facebook and Twitter.